WHAT THE SAM CHRIST ARE YOU JUMPING OVER, YOU’RE IN THE DAMN STREET AND YOU’RE ABOUT TO GET PANCAKED BY A CAMRY, TAKE YOUR S/S EGGPLANT BLAZER OVER TO THE GODDAMN SIDEWALK
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PRESENTING STEVE CARELL AND HIS MAGNIFICENT BEARD IN “AROUND THE BLOCK IN 40 COATS”
I’M NOT CONVINCED ANY OF THESE GREASY ASCOTOPHILES ARE LEGITIMATE FUCKING HUMANS BUT TO PUT IT TO THE TEST WE’RE GONNA CRANK THE HVAC TO 120°F AND SEE IF WE CAN MELT THEIR MADAM TUSSAUDS NEGA-SMILES AWAY
THIS BULLSHIT JUST ALMOST BARELY MAKES SENSE UNTIL YOU SEE THE PRODUCTION ASSISTANT MASSAGING A FUCKING FUJI RED INTO HER DOUBTLESS EQUALLY CONFUSED HEAD, AND THEN YOUR ALREADY TENUOUS GRASP ON REALITY BEGINS TO SLIP AWAY
I’D MAKE SOME CRACK ON THIS ASSHOLE CATCHING ALL THE SPOINKS IN POKÉMON FUCIA OR WHATEVER, BUT JUST GETTING OUT OF THE HOUSE HAS GOT TO BE ACCOMPLISHMENT IF YOU CAN’T DIFFERENTIATE CURTAINS FROM CLOTHING
ALL HAIL LORD FAIR ISLE AND HIS PANTS OF UNSPOILED VIRGINITY
(thanks, Nick)
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU KILLED A MOTHERFUCKER, CUT HIS FEET OFF AT THE ANKLES AND ARE LITERALLY STOMPING AROUND IN HIS FLESH, WHAT THE JOHN WAYNE GACY FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU
